FACEBOOK: A NEW DATING SITE
By: Nosipho Ntombela
According to Rihanna’s song “love is found in a hopeless place”, and that hopeless place for many people is Facebook. If we were to make a remix, we will say “we find love on
Nowadays a young lady or man cannot have a peaceful chat without being asked out on a date by a stranger. Facebook was meant to be a place for socialising and communicating, but
today it is a platform for dating.
Times have really change from back in the days of our fore fathers. For them to ask a woman out was a long process. It was not as easy as social media. There is a saying that says,
“Intombi ayiqomi ngosuku”, which means a woman cannot easily accept a man’s proposal immediately.
Back in the days a guy will go all out to get a woman, he wants.
If it meant waiting for her down the river, or stop her on the way to church, or female gatherings then it will be.
A man would write a song or perform a poem to capture that woman’s heart. They would draw a line on a sand, and ask a woman to cross over to him if she accepts the offer. Most of
the times a man only asked out a woman he wanted to marry and not just date.
This is something we have lost in our days. Today a man would ask a girl out simply because he saw how good she looks.
Mr Thulani and Mrs faith Ngubo, have been married for 12 years and dated for seven years, which means they have been an item for 19 years. Speaking on their love journey Mrs
Ngubo, said that her husband was his classmate and at that time they were not interested in each other.
“I use to look at him as this boy who was always few marks behind me.
We were in competition with who gets better marks than the other. That made his angry but as I was a principal’s kid, he couldn’t do anything,” said Ngubo.
It was when Ngubo’s father passed on that they got close.
“I felt sorry for her and I started getting closer. I liked the woman she was outside class.
She was not in competition but in partnership with me. I knew I needed her in my life,” explained Ngubo.
It is true that two is better than one. According to this beautiful couple, love is not looks or thoughts. Love is understanding and looking beyond the current situation, love works with
time and patience.
“If you serious about love do not rush it. Give yourself time to learn your partner and understand their reactions. What made us strong, was the ability to understand each other’s
wishes and goal.
We helped one another to be who we are today, we do not owe each other anything,” concluded Ngubo.
On a research I did on Facebook, five out of seven girls write about how they receive inboxes asking them out on dates.
Speaking with some guys on Facebook, Sizwe Chinaarh Luvuno a user said, “The reason why we ask girls out on Facebook, is because we don’t have their numbers. If we did, we
would do it over whatsapp or a phone call,” said Luvuno.
“This is generally triggered by all the edited nice looking pictures that we see when browsing through their walls, or maybe you saw a girl but couldn’t approach her at that time. The first
place we search is Facebook,” added Luvuno.
The problem with finding a partner on Facebook is that you cannot trust that person.
How will you know if they are real and not faking their identity?
There are a lot of things happening on social media; people have fake accounts, some are married, and some are even criminals.
In Kwazi Athule’s opinion, the question would be: can that person you are approaching trust you?
“Finding her on Facebook doesn’t mean she’s untrustworthy. You should spend time with her and get to know her, then you will see if she’s untrustworthy. Make your expectations clear so
that you are on the same page.
It also depends with your intention as a guy.
You first need to be true to yourself and understand why you are doing it,” explained Athule.
Athule added that he has done it before and she was very kind and the type of girl you would want to marry.
“I’m the one who messed up so she left,” added Athule.
Thembeka Nonduh Amukele said, “I don’t entertain such behaviour, they send inbox messages and I ignore them. I do not take any man seriously on social media. Even on
WhatsApp massager, I do not want to be approach via social media.
If a person is serious about you they have to make an effort to get your attention and social media is just too easy.”
Thobeka Mzobe said, “My man and I met via Facebook.
He knew me because we are from the same hood. I knew him too but I was never interested. According to him, he has always
been scared of me, so for him Facebook was a platform to talk to me.
We became close through Facebook, later on we decided to hang out. We have been dating for two years now.
We are so in love and very happy. Facebook is a platform to meet new people it’s up to you how you accommodate the situation.”