I DO’ MEANS FOREVER
By: Litsa Masuku
Once upon a time there was an old man who was in his late seventies. He had an operation on his right thumb. One day he went to a local hospital to remove the stitches on his thumb. It was still very early in the morning and he was the first patient.
Nurse: Good morning sir you may come through so I can assist you.
Old man: (Happy face) Thank you my child.
Nurse: (Smile) you are welcome Sir. I can’t help but notice that you have been keeping track with your wrist watch ever since you walked in. Are you rushing somewhere?
Old man: (Sigh) yes my child, I keep a daily routine to visit my wife at a home for the disabled. I make sure that I’m never late. My presence around her at the right time is the main connection we have left.
Nurse: (Touched) I respect you for that Sir. Living in a home must not be easy for her.
Old man: We’ve been married for 55 years. She endured a deaf disability 5 years ago, ever since she got admitted to the home I never missed a day to go and see her.
Nurse: You’re a very good man Sir. She is a very lucky lady.
Old man: I made a decision my child when I said ‘I do’, that I shall stick by my wife through sickness and in health.
Morale of the story, true love stands the test of time.
Archbishop Emeritus, Desmond Tutu and his wife Leah Tutu are also one of the strongest couple. They are celebrating their 58th anniversary into marriage this year.
The couple were college sweethearts in the early 1950s, and married on July 2, 1955. Tutu later became the first black Archbishop of Cape Town, and achieved global status as an anti-apartheid activist. Leah was always at his side, supporting her husband in his work and causes.
On the surface the old couple seem to have a magical marriage, but if one goes deep into their story. It is inevitable to unearth that the two have had their fair share of good and bad weather. But just like two birds that had a vision, they kept building their nest against all odds.
The stories that people have to share within their marriages are unique, some are like a sweet melody to listen to whilst some are bitter and sad.
Queen Ndlovu is a 34-year-old woman who has been married for nine years and she shares her story, not a fairytale, but a hositle one. She describes the road as a tough one, one that she wouldn’t have travelled if she had a choice.
“I was very young when I married my husband. I fell pregnant shortly after we started dating. I didn’t know him too well hence I encountered and suffered abuse in my marriage when he started to drink and bit me a lot.”
According to Queen, it is vital for marriage to be based on a solid foundation and an extensive level of understanding for one another.
“I believe if I knew my husband better before we got married I wouldn’t have endured abuse, and I would be happier than I am. I was at the verge of walking away but I kept on praying to God and now things are better because my husband has stopped drinking.”
In December 2012, divorce data which was recorded in the year 2011 by statistics South Africa was published and revealed that 20 980 divorces from civil marriages resulted in South Africa. The common aspect that often leads to these divorces is that people are more into materialistic lifestyles, and they are career driven to such an extent that they hardly have time to work on their marriages.
The Tutus are one of the most inspirational yet oldest couple amongst Mzansi celebrities, and Queen has her own personal favourite celebrity couple as well.
“S’fiso and Amanda Ncwane inspire me a lot, they’ve been standing by one another through thick and thin, from a point where they had nothing until now, and they are still going strong.”
At the heart of her story, Queen divulged that she would love to go overseas when she celebrates her 10th anniversary next year. She advised every aspiring woman to make the right choices first and not rush into marriage. She says marriage should be a sweet and beautiful thing when you’re educated and independent, she reckons that it helps your partner to respect you more.
There are different tunes that people may opt to sing when it comes to marriage merely because it takes unique individuals to tango. But at the end of the day nothing surpasses the fact that all routes head back to the vows that were uttered. ‘I do’.