LOVE BEGINS AT HOME
By; Lizeka Maduna
People often judge one another without knowing each other’s stories. When it comes to young women who date the so called “sugar daddies” referring to older men, people start calling that particular girl names like, “Mahosha,” and, “Gold digger”.
In some rural communities, dating and getting married to an older man is regarded as tradition, but when it comes to townships a young woman dating an old man is referred to as a gold digger. However, it is unfortunate that these young girls are judged without people knowing their stories- there is a mentality that girls who date older men are those who come from disadvantaged backgrounds seeking financial security.
The truth is that there are young women coming from privileged stable families who engage themselves with older men. The question is why young women date older men if not for their money and maintenance?
“Some of these girls are coming from families where both parents are too busy focusing on businesses and their financial statuses, forgetting about children. Some of them often start looking for love in the wrong places because they feel resented and neglected by parents,” said a 22-year-old eThekwini college Marketing student, Zethu Ngcobo.
“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do but how much love we put in that action.” This is one of Mother Teresa’s famous quotes promoting love. Parents have a responsibility to love their children- a hug to a child means a lot more than the pocket money parents give to them every day. Some people see it as a trend but the truth is that parents play a role in their children’s lives. If a child doesn’t feel loved at home they eventually go out to seek love. This is a huge issue since it contributes to the increase in HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy.
According to Parent 24 columnist, Masanda Peter, people always talk about older men dating younger girls and forget about older women who date younger men, “it is not a pretty sight to see young girls hanging out in bars with older and married men but I’ve also noticed a trend of older women with younger boys who could be their sons,” she said. In most cases parents are partly to blame for their children dating older men and women because they often focus on work and neglect their children.
Not all girls and boys dating older men and women are seeking financial security. According to psychological studies, some of them feel unloved and unwanted at home and thus are more likely to seek love that their parents fail to give them, forgetting that there’s no greatert love than a mother or a father’s love.