By: Akhona Mtolo

“It was a moment of despair because I felt alone and I found it hard to become a full, happy human being when I was hiding my sexual orientation, particularly to the ones I love,” said
Amanda Poodhun.

Coming out to your parents about your sexuality has to be one of the hardest thing, especially if you grew up in a religious household.

According to a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ) site designed to support diverse identities and lives, it is entirely up to an individual to disclose their
sexuality.

When you feel you are comfortable with your sexual orientation, there is no certain age to come out as long as you are ready to accept the outcome.

It’s hard enough for parents to talk about sex to their children and even harder for them to come to terms to accept that their child is ‘guy’.

Every household reacts differently; some parents could easily accept what their child has chosen to be.

Other parents resent their children for opening up about their sexuality. Some people who decide to come out like Leroy Khumalo, a bank teller, still find it hard to cope with their
parent’s reaction.

“I was 19 when I finally decided to tell my parents. I had tried numerous times before but I felt at that time I wasn’t going to be able to deal with the disappoint from my parents. I will
never forget my father’s rage.

He kicked me out of his house. I did expect him be angry but not to the extent of kicking me out. Luckily my aunt was more understanding and she took
me in.

I haven’t spoken to my dad in over four years,” explained Khumalo.

He added that his mother has opened up to him and she has also tried to learn more about the gay community.

Muzi Mathenjwa, a self-proclaimed liberator of the gay, said that growing up he always questioned his sexuality especially in high school, when everyone was getting girlfriends. He
told his parents when he was 16 and they were very understanding.

“I was never into girls like all my friends. I started to realize that I didn’t have the same feelings for girls as my friends did.

They would joke around saying that I was gay but deep down I was wrestling the issue.

I was mostly scared of how my mother would react because we were very close and I assumed she had figured it out. I told my class teacher first before in told my parents,” said Mathenjwa.

Dr Penelope Mda, a clinical psychologist and phychometrist said, “I have dealt with a lot of parents who bring their children in for therapy for their sexual orientation. Some parents are
under the influence that it is ‘reversible’.”

Mda added that it is something unprepared for and parents need to acknowledge the fact that their children are actually telling them the truth. At the end of the day parents should care
about the welfare of their children happiness.